I don't know what this means exactly. I think the meaning changes as it is applied to different people and different situations. I feel it though. Right now, to me, it feels like taking my mother home from the hospital after surgery to treat breast cancer - not a recurrence, but a whole new breast cancer - different than the one she had 25 years ago - and she says "that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, they've gotten better at this". It feels like how I immagine my coworker feels the day after her husband died of cancer - too young and too "healthy"- and she talks about the good memories she has of him. It feels like my neighbor telling me her metastatic tumors are growing again "I want to re-do my backyard to improve my 'outdoor living'. All of this in the past couple of weeks.
I haven't been riding much these past couple of weeks. I haven't been too obsessed about it either. I just decided that sometimes life happens in ways that throw us off track. I can still get back on track again later...It just happens that this weekend is the 2nd annual Bike the Coast ride in Oceanside, CA. We had such a good time last year doing the ride and making it a long weekend "stay-cation" we decided to do it again this year. Even though I haven't been riding much, and there is a lot going on around me, we stuck to our plan and headed north.
San Diego had its first winter storm yesterday, rained day and night, but today dawned crisp and clean. It was a beautiful day to be on the bike. I had lunch on a bench sitting on a cliff above the breaking waves of Moonlight Beach. I saw a school of dolphins playing in the surf and remembered how I used to spend my summers boogie boarding in those very waves when I was in high school. I felt at peace for the first time in a couple of weeks.
When I am feeling overwhelmed by people and events around me, sometimes my bike helps me to Livestrong.